Relating to Inactive by Weird Al (Mandatory Fun, 2015)…
So today I decided to attempt the beginnings of a journey from Couch to 5k. This is something that people do these days isn’t it, Couch to 5k? People who think they’re a tad unfit and want to better themselves?
Now, I’m not an overly large person. I’m short, a little squishy, but definitely not heading to the stage of greasing doorways. This C25K thing is aimed at people like me, those who are slightly inactive and looking to gently start running. Gently. I SAID GENTLY!
“I’m out of shape, I’m fattening up…” – Weird Al
After the first 8 minutes, I felt like something out of Weird Al’s Fat. I walked briskly for 5 minutes, ran for one minute, walked for 90 seconds, and ran for 30 seconds instead of 60 because I was dying. I have to admit here that my ‘brisk’ walking is slow for a snail. And my ‘running’ is slamming each of my feet to the ground while flailing like a demented seagull.
“I’m using my inhaler now…” – Weird Al
The remainder of the 30 minutes was spent limping, trailing my right foot behind me as though it didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I was feeling very sorry for myself; not just because I’d been abandoned by an important appendage, but also at being unable to get through the first day of an easy, totally doable, fitness program. In fact, the only reason I got myself home without just setting up a shack on the side of the road was that there was some nice chocolate-covered toffee waiting for me…
“Don’t tag my toe, I’m still alive!” – Weird Al
In case anyone wants to hear the song in question and feel as flumpy as I do right now!